Into The Night
by Trapped in a MatchBox
Summary: The world didn't end. It is only his world that is crumbling down.  Post 3x17 - Countdown.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I wasn't even going to write anything Countdown related, but in an attempt to get rid of this massive writer block I've got for Of Bars and Secrets, this is what I came up with. Hope you guys like it.**

**Special thanks to Beetlebug who came up with the title for me. Thanks a lot, girl!**

_**Disclaimer: Castle is still not mine.**_

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**Into The Night**

As soon as the elevator doors close, he makes a decision.

He wants her to be happy; even if it's not by his side. After everything she has been through, she deserves joy in her life and – as much as it hurts him – Josh seems to be doing just fine in that department. He couldn't bring himself to stay and watch her smile at her perfect boyfriend, not when he had been so close to spill out his feelings to her. The intensity of that day, how close they had come to fall into the dark embrace of death, made him realize that life is too short. But then Josh turned around the corner and was walking towards them when he decided he couldn't do that to her.

It wouldn't have been fair. Not after the last couple of days.

So he decided to bow out gracefully, dignity still intact. He wouldn't have been able to handle rejection from her right now. He made up an excuse that he was tired and needed to go home and turned around, not daring to look back. He couldn't. It hurt too much.

Once inside the elevator, he pulls out his phone and calls his daughter, letting her know everything was fine and that he is on his way to the Hamptons to meet them. He figured that spending some time away from the precinct, from New York, from _her_ would do him good. Would do them both good.

The lines were starting to blur in their relationship, at least for him. He couldn't tell if the same was happening to her. At times, he felt like they were so in synch that the only thing that was missing from their relationship was the physical aspect. Back in the freezer, when they both were certain they were going to die, he had been so sure she was going to tell him she loved him. Even now, he is not sure what could have possibly happened if she hadn't passed out then. And when she had lost consciousness, he had lost all hope. They were going to die and he hadn't told her he loved her, that he would do anything for her.

That's why he is leaving now. He loves her and he will do anything to see her happy, even if it hurts him. The Hamptons seems like the perfect place to hide out and wallow in his misery. He can just tell her he needs to get away from the city because of everything that has happened (their near death experiences; not the fact that his heart feels like it is broken beyond repair) and that he will be back soon.

As he drives to his beach house, he tries to empty his mind of every thought pertaining the last couple of days. He can still feel the cold seeping into his bones, even if the heater in his car is maxed out. He can't shake this feeling of gloom and every time he closes his eyes he sees her in that slightly blue environment, her hopeless eyes begging him to tell her they are going to be okay.

He shakes his head, as if the action is going to banish the image from his mind. As soon as he tries to think of something else, another image appears before his eyes and she is looking at him, fear written all over her features, her hand clutching his so tightly that he thinks she might just break a couple of bones if she keeps that up. He didn't know what made him reach out and pull all the wires loose, but he thanks whatever higher power had possessed him to do it.

Because he can't imagine a world without Kate Beckett. Hell, he can't imagine _his_ world without her.

His phone chimes and announces the arrival of a new text message.

_You okay?_

He knows it's from her and he fights the urge to reply immediately. He can text her back when he gets there.

When he turns in the driveway next to his house by the beach, Alexis is waiting for him, bundled up against the cold wind that is blowing from the ocean. He steps out of the car and the cold temperature nearly takes his breath away and sets his mind reeling back to the freezer and his close encounter with death.

His daughter runs to him and throws herself into his waiting arms. He holds her tightly against his chest, sighing in relief that she is okay, that his mother is okay. New York is still intact and everyone is carrying on with their lives with no clue that they came so close to death that afternoon. The world didn't end.

It is only _his_ world that is crumbling down.

* * *

He texts her back before going to bed. Doesn't give many details; just lets her know that he is okay and he will be out of town for a while. She doesn't text him back and he assumes that she is busy with Josh, letting Motorcycle Boy comfort her to help her forget about today. The image that his brain conjures up to go with that thought nearly makes him sick. He has never been a jealous man, but when it comes to Kate Beckett, he can't help himself.

A week later, he still hasn't heard from her. He figures it's for the best. He knows she is okay, otherwise Ryan, Esposito or Lanie would've called him. But he misses her and he doesn't like not being able to see her every day and making her smile.

He has been writing incessantly. Misery seems to be a great source of inspiration because the words are flowing like magic from the tips of his fingers onto the computer screen. He writes a third of the new Nikki Heat book during that week. It almost feels like he is torturing himself because thinking about Nikki is thinking about her and he realizes he can't free himself from her one way or another. It's like she's a permanent image in his brain and no matter how hard he tries, he can't bury that thought into the darkest corner of his mind.

He has been resorting to drinking a healthy dose of scotch on the rocks before bed to try and relax (okay, numb) his overworked mind. Not that it works, but he tries every night, anyway. He stays in bed for hours on end, staring at the ceiling. Only when it's close to dawn, he manages to take a short nap.

Things start to change in his tenth night away from her. He is alone that night; Alexis and Martha went back to the city a few days before, back to their normal lives. But he can't. He is too much of a coward and he can't even bare the thought of facing her and her happiness right now. It still hurts too much. He had honestly thought that they had a chance after the bomb threat. She had been so open, so candid with him that he had thought things were finally working in his favor.

He had never counted on her giving Josh another chance.

When his phone rings that night, he is startled out of his thoughts. Once again, he can't sleep so he is putting his insomnia to a productive use and is writing away in his laptop. At first he thinks it's Alexis calling to say goodnight, but then he remembers that she has already called and it's incredibly late. He looks at the time on his laptop and is surprised to find that it's close to 2am. Then he stares at his phone blankly for a moment before reaching out to grab it. When he sees her name flashing on the screen, he thinks about ignoring it. That idea is dismissed quickly, though, because she wouldn't call this late at night if it wasn't important.

Taking a deep breath, he presses the answer button.

"Hello?" he says quietly and hears her breath catch for a moment on the other side of the line.

"Hi." She breathes and silence falls between them for a second. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was awake. Don't worry. Are you okay?" he asks, concerned, because he can tell there is something off about her tone, an edge to her voice.

"I…" she pauses and he can picture her biting on her lip in frustration. "You know what, never mind. I shouldn't have called."

"No, wait. Kate, what is it?" he stops her from hanging up on him and he has no clue why. Isn't he trying to get her off his mind? This is not helping.

"I just…" he hears her take a deep breath. "I can't sleep." She confesses and her voice is so low that if he hadn't been paying attention he would have missed it entirely.

"Me either." He admits and she lets out a sigh. "Can't Josh give you something to help you relax?" he asks and closes his eyes at an attempt to block any images from his mind.

"He is gone. To Haiti." She tells him with a resigned tone. "We broke up. He left about a week ago."

"Oh."

That's all he manages to say. His mind is working at the speed of light.

_Josh is gone._

"I haven't been able to sleep well since everything happened. The freezer, the bomb…" she trails off and he wishes he was there to comfort her.

"Me either. Every time I close my eyes, it feels like I'm back in that freezer or…" He confesses and puts his laptop away, settling more comfortably in his bed.

"Or watching the timer on the bomb count down to zero." She finishes for him and sighs.

"Yeah." He whispers.

"When I woke up after they found us in the freezer, I thought I'd lost you." She whispers and he thinks he can hear emotion in her voice. "You weren't next to me and they said you were still unconscious. Scared the hell out of me. Don't ever do that to me again."

"Same goes for you, KB. It's only fair." He says lightly and although their conversation is serious, he is relieved when he hears her quiet chuckle.

"When are you coming back to the city?" she asks after a moment of silence.

"Why, do you miss me?" he teases her.

"Yes." Her honest answer knocks the air out of his lungs and he can't think of a response to that immediately. "So when are you coming back?" she insists and he lets out a sigh.

"Soon." He finally manages to get out. "For the record? I miss you too."

There is a lull in the conversation and he listens closely to her steady breathing. He thinks she has fallen asleep before she speaks again.

"Castle?" her voice is timid and he thinks that if he was there with her, he would gently kiss her forehead and hold her tight against his body.

"Yes, Kate?"

"I still can't sleep." She says simply and before he can formulate a response to that, she interrupts his thoughts. "And when I do manage to take a nap, I have nightmares." She sounds almost embarrassed and he wishes more than ever that he was there so she wouldn't have to sleep alone.

"About that day?" he asks gently and he knows all too well what that feels like. He has been visiting his own personal hell whenever he manages to fall asleep.

"About you dying." Her voice breaks and he hears her taking a shaky breath. "When they pull us out of the freezer, you're dead. Or you're the one driving that van and I watch it explode." Her voice shakes so hard that he almost doesn't catch the last few words.

"Kate, I'm okay." He says soothingly. "We're both okay. It's over." He swallows hard, trying to reign in his own tears.

"I just…" he hears her take a deep breath and waits until she is ready to talk. "I don't want to lose you, Castle. I don't think I'd survive that."

"You're not going to lose me, I promise." He reassures her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I'm not leaving you. Remember how I said I always got your back? You can count on that. I care about you too much to walk away now."

"Promise?" her voice is almost childlike and he smiles at the contradiction of her thoughts.

"Cross my heart." He says and she sighs in relief.

"Okay." She says and lets out a yawn. "I'm so tired." She admits and he replies with a yawn of his own. "I should let you go."

"No, don't. Stay. Please?" he lies down and pulls the comforter close to his chin.

"Alright." They listen to each other breathing for a couple of minutes and he is content like that, knowing that she is okay. "I'm still so cold." She says after a while. "No matter how many blankets, sweaters, socks… I can feel it in my bones."

"I know. Me too"

"I wish you were here." She says quietly. "I don't want to be alone."

"I can go back to the city tomorrow morning. How's that?" the suggestion that he would go to her place implicit.

"I'd like that." She answers with a sigh that he interprets as happy. "Don't forget our breakfast." She says with a yawn and he chuckles sleepily.

"You got it, KB."

"Will you stay with me?" she asks shyly and he is not sure what she is referring to. It doesn't matter, though. He will stay with her in any way she wants.

"Always." He tells her and she sighs contently.

"Night, Castle." She says sleepily and he fights a yawn.

"Until tomorrow, Kate." He promises and listens to her breathing, until he is sure it has evened out and she has fallen asleep. Only then he allows himself to say what has been on his mind for months. "I love you." He whispers into the phone and closes his eyes, sleep finally creeping up on him.

"Love you too." He hears her mumble groggily and he is not sure if it really happened or if was just his imagination.

Whatever it was, it makes a smile appear on his lips and his heart lighter.

And he finally falls asleep.

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**Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, I want to thank all of you for the insane amount of reviews I received for this. You rock my world. Second, I wasn't going to write a second chapter for this. I really wasn't. But I had this nagging feeling that I should write Kate's POV and so many of you asked to see what would happen the morning after that I gave in. **

**What can I say, I'm weak.**

**There might be a 3rd chapter to this, but I'm not making any promises. You guys tell me if this needs another chapter or not. It's in your hands.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, Castle is still not mine.**

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**Into the Night**

**Chapter 2**

She wakes up with a gasp, her heart beating erratically in her chest. Taking deep breaths, she runs a hand through her hair agitatedly. She can't take this anymore. It has been the same routine every night since they closed the dirty bomb case; nightmares plague her in her sleep and she has been running around haggard for days because she can't sleep.

Tonight is no different. She wipes away the tears that have made their way down her cheeks during her most recent nightmare and looks at the clock on her nightstand. It's close to 1am, which means she only got an hour of sleep before her demons chased her away from dreamland. She lies back on her pillow and sighs, looking at the ceiling. The lights coming through her window make an endless stream of shadows on her ceiling and she tries to distract her mind by trying to figure out their shapes. She thinks that by doing that, sleep will come again and maybe this time she will be able to sleep at least four hours without waking up with her heart feeling like it is about to explode and tears wetting her skin.

But sleep never comes.

She tries everything she can think of: counting sheep, singing lullabies in her mind, counting backwards from a hundred, but nothing works.

She thinks about Castle and his lack of communication for the past few days. She hasn't seen him in over a week and she actually misses him. Josh left so soon after the whole bomb incident that she didn't even have time to process everything. That night, after Castle saved the city from doom, she came home with Josh. Although she really thought that she should give the guy a chance – after all, he had decided to give up on a trip because of her, or so she thought – Kate had this feeling that something wasn't quite right with her partner. The way he changed the subject right before he left, the look in his eyes… she knew something was wrong. She just couldn't put her finger on what exactly that something was.

She texted him asking if he was okay, but when he didn't answer right away, she figured he was still shaken about everything that had happened. She didn't blame him; after all, it had been one hell of a couple of days. Josh made her dinner and cuddled up with her on the couch, but all she could think about was that something was wrong with Castle and that she should go see him. She was trying to figure out a way to tell Josh, but then exhaustion must have caught up with her because the next thing she knew, she was in her bed, sweat soaking through her clothes and her heart beating at the speed of light. It was 3:30am and she never went back to sleep.

So she left Josh snoring lightly on her bed and grabbed her phone to illuminate her way to the kitchen. That was when she saw his text message saying he was in the Hamptons. In a way, it almost felt like the summer all over again. Except this time she wanted to follow him there and stay close to him to reassure herself that he was alive and safe. But she didn't. She had Josh, who had stayed for her and the least she could do was give him a chance.

The next morning, Josh dropped the bomb on her. He had stayed so they could figure things out between them, but he was still going to Haiti the next day. He just hadn't wanted to leave knowing she was mad at him. It was sweet in a way, but still didn't solve their main problem because he was going to be away again. She told him exactly that and after a lot of talking, they decided it would be best if they just broke up now before things got any worse. She was sad to see him go, but she knew it was for the best. Josh wasn't who she wanted and deep down, she had always known that.

The days passed by and still no word from Castle. She went back to work, but things were slow for the first couple of days. Then a body dropped on Wednesday and they had been chasing dead end leads for three days until they finally broke the case and caught the killer.

Throughout that, there was no news about Castle and she was starting to get worried. That and the fact that she didn't want this to become the past summer all over again, when they hadn't talked for months. She couldn't handle that now, not when they have gotten so close and he was her very best friend.

So when she wakes up that night, trembling and with tear tracks on her cheeks from yet another nightmare, she thinks about him. Her fingers are itching to grab her phone and call him, but she refrains. He hasn't contacted her in over a week; maybe he just wants to be alone.

But when almost an hour passes by and she still can't sleep, she decides to throw caution to the wind and before she can talk herself out of it, she presses his speed dial number and holds her breath as it starts to ring.

* * *

When she wakes up the next morning, she thinks it was all a dream. Did she really call Castle at two in the morning because she couldn't sleep? Well, dream or not, she slept better than the past ten nights combined. Stretching lazily in her bed, she blinks groggily and looks at the clock on her nightstand. When it registers in her brain that it's already past nine, she jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to work.

By 9:45, she is dropping her purse on her desk at the precinct and she thinks to herself that this is probably her record. She checks her phone while making her way to the break room for a cappuccino, but he hasn't called or texted since last night. And yes, she did check her phone to see if she had indeed called him and if they had stayed on the phone for an eternity and it had all really happened, she thinks to herself with a smile.

_He said he loves her._

Well, that part she is still not sure it wasn't a dream, but she can remember his voice so clearly. And if she remembers correctly, she said she loved him back, so where does that leave them?

Shaking her head to chase those thoughts away, Kate decides she is not going to dwell on that now. She doesn't even know if that part actually happened, so what is the point? She takes a sip of her cappuccino and closes her eyes for a minute, enjoying the silence of the room and the caffeine running through her veins. She finally managed to get a good few hours of sleep, but she is still so tired. She concealed the dark circles under her eyes with make up, but she is still so exhausted that it feels like she has been drugged. She hopes against hope that today will be a slow day and that she will be able to go home by 5.

The hours pass by and there is still no sign of Castle. He hasn't called or texted and she is starting to get worried. She tries to distract her mind by throwing herself into paperwork. When that is finished, she decides to check her email. By 2pm, she is finally on the verge of calling him just to see if he is okay, but when she grabs her phone, it vibrates in her hand, announcing a new text message. It's him.

_Just woke up. Guess I was really tired.__ I'm leaving in half an hour. Will you still be at the precinct?_

She smiles at the message and sighs in relief that he really is coming back. After eleven days without his presence, she can't wait to see him. And no, she doesn't want to think about what that means. Right now, she only needs to text him back.

_If no bodies drop, I'm here until 5._

Barely a minute passes by before her phone chimes again.

_Alright. I'm assuming I am still supposed to bring you breakfast, right?_

She chuckles and rolls her eyes before texting him back.

_Of course. I'll see you soon. Thanks for last night._

She hesitates before pressing the send button, but in the end decides that it doesn't have to mean anything and she's got nothing to lose.

He doesn't answer immediately and she starts doubting herself, thinking that maybe she shouldn't have sent it. The lines between them are so blurred right now that she is never sure of what is appropriate or not.

Twenty minutes have passed by and she has busied herself organizing her desk when her phone finally chimes again.

_You're very welcome, KB. You're my girl. :)_

Her heart flutters and she tries to fight the smile that is threatening to form on her lips, but fails spectacularly.

"Hey, boss?" she hears Ryan's voice behind her and turns around.

"Yeah, what's up?" she asks, putting her phone back in her back pocket.

"Have you heard from Castle yet?" he asks and she sees that Esposito has looked up from his report to pay attention to the conversation.

"Yeah, I just talked to him. He'll be here in a couple of hours." She says and the boys nod, smiling.

"Sweet. Maybe we can go grab some beers at the Old Haunt if no bodies drop. What do you say, bro?" Esposito suggests and Ryan nods. "Beckett?"

"Yeah, sure." she replies nonchalantly.

Only when her boys have returned to their previous tasks, she allows herself to smile.

* * *

She is lost in a daydream (it has been a _really_ slow day), when Esposito's voice startles her and she nearly jumps off the couch in the break room.

"Castle! How's it going, bro?" she hears her fellow detective ask and immediately makes her way to the break room door.

He is shaking Esposito's hand with a smile and she can't quite decide what to do with herself. Ryan soon walks over to him and pulls him into a man hug. Then she can see his eyes are looking for her all over the bullpen and he looks disappointed when he doesn't find her.

"She is in the break room." Esposito says with a grin.

Ryan nudges his shoulder and the boys give him those annoying knowing looks. He chuckles, but doesn't deny that he is indeed looking for her, immediately walking over to the break room. She retreats back to the counter to put her long forgotten coffee in the sink and waits for him. Not even a minute passes by when he shows up at the door.

They look at each other for a moment, trying to assess how they should do this. He breaks first.

"Hi." He says with a small, boyish smile and she can't help but smile back.

"Hi, yourself." She looks down and bites on her bottom lip, feeling suddenly shy.

They were so open with each other last night that now she is not sure how she is supposed to act around him. When she looks up again again, he is standing right in front of her, coffee and bear claw in hand. She smiles and takes them from his hands and sets them on the counter behind her. Then the next thing she knows, he is hugging her tightly and she hugs him back as if her life depended on him.

His hold on her weakens, giving her space to lean back and look at him, but his arms remain around her waist. He smiles at her and she bites down on her lip again, trying to figure out what to say next.

"Sorry I took so long." He says quietly, breaking the silence.

"No problem. You didn't miss anything interesting. It's been a really boring day." She tells him and releases her hold on him.

"That's what tends to happen when I'm not around. Things just get boring." He grins at her and she rolls her eyes.

"Shut up, Castle." She chuckles and, after a moment's hesitation, leans in and kisses his cheek. "It's good to have you back, though." She confesses and his smile is so big that she laughs. "Don't let that go to your head."

"Too late." He tells her and tightens his hold on her waist. "Did you really miss me?" he asks, his tone light, but she can see the insecurity in his eyes. Checking to see if the blinds were shut, she throws her arms around him again.

"Yeah." She says quietly. "Thank you again for putting up with me last night."

"I already told you it was no problem, Kate. Did you get some sleep?" he tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, his thumb lingering on her cheek.

"I did, yeah. After god knows how many nights with no sleep." She closes her eyes and leans into his touch for a second.

"I'm glad I could be of help." She feels him placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asks after a beat and he nods.

"Hey, guys?" they hear Ryan's voice and jump apart as if they have been burned. The young detective grins at them, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "We're leaving to go to the Old Haunt. You guys in?"

Castle looks at her questioningly and she nods.

"Sure, we'll meet you there." He says and Ryan nods, walking away. "Do you really want to go?" he asks her when they are alone again and throws an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"Yeah, it'll be good. Take our minds off of everything that's happened." She picks up the cup of coffee he has brought her and takes a sip, sighing happily that it's still hot. She finally allows herself to relax and leans into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Alright." He says, tracing a light pattern on her arm. "We should go." He says after a couple of minutes in silence.

"Yeah." She sighs and closes her eyes.

But they don't make any movement to leave.

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**So, was this interesting enough to need another chapter or should I leave it as it is?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You guys, I am completely blown away by the amazing feedback. You all seriously rock. I am so sorry this took so long. It has been a crazy couple of weeks and I was super busy. I hope you like this one. And that you don't mind the amount of fluff. What can I say, I was in a fluffy writing mood and this is what came out of it.**

**Disclaimer: I think we have already established that Castle is not mine.**

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**Into the Night**

**Chapter 3**

They stay silent as Kate drives them to The Old Haunt, each lost in their own thoughts. After the boys left, they stayed another twenty minutes in the break room talking quietly with a few comfortable periods of silence, in which they just reveled in each other's presence. Although they moved to the couch so Kate could eat her bear claw and sip her coffee while they shyly tried to do some catching up on the past week, their physical contact never severed, even if it was just their arms touching slightly.

Now she has just parked her Crown Vic in front of The Old Haunt and they are almost at the door when he stops her with a hand on her arm. She looks at him questioningly.

"Just realized I never said thank you for calling last night." He says quietly and shrugs, trying to pass off as a casual comment.

"Castle, you don't have to thank me. I kind of felt guilty for calling you so late. Almost talked myself out of it." She tells him and his hand trails down her arm and grabs her hand.

"Well, I'm glad you called." He gives her hand a comforting squeeze and she smiles, squeezing his hand back. "I'd missed your voice." He confesses, tangling their fingers together for a moment.

"Just my voice?" she teases and he chuckles.

"Do you really have to ask?" he asks and she rolls her eyes with a smile.

"Come on, they're probably wondering where we are."

She tugs at his hand, giving it one final squeeze before letting go. She is not sure what exactly is going on between them, but she decided it's best to just go with the flow and see where this is going. Whatever this thing between them is it sure as hell feels good and right, so she is sticking to that for now.

Pushing the door open, she feels his hand brush against the small of her back lightly as he guides her inside the bar. Lanie and the boys are already seated at a booth sipping their beers and laughing.

"Took you guys long enough." Lanie teases when they reach their table and Kate feels her cheek heating up slightly.

"Miss Perfect here just had to double check everything was in order before leaving. You know how she is." Castle says, nudging Kate's side and she smiles at him in thanks. He winks at her and turns back to the group. "So what did we miss?" he asks, sitting next to Ryan.

Kate debates for a moment if she should sit with him or with Lanie and Esposito on the other side. Eventually, she slides in next to him, deciding it doesn't have to mean anything that they're sitting together and that she should stop overanalyzing everything.

"Oh, not much. Kevin here was just updating us on the wedding plans." Esposito tells them, taking a sip of his beer. Castle signals the waiter to come take their orders.

"Oh, have you guys set a date yet?" Kate asks curiously, while Castle orders a beer. "Yeah, beer for me too." She tells him when he looks at her questioningly.

"We have a tentative date. April 21st. We're still not sure, though." The young detective replies and she nods with a smile.

"A spring wedding. It's going to be great." She says and Castle casually rests his arm on the back of the chair. She can feel the warmth of his skin and unconsciously leans towards him, until their sides are touching.

"So, Castle. How was your week in the Hamptons?" Esposito asks while the waiter sets a new round of beers on their table.

"Quiet." Castle says and takes a swig of his beer. "Mother and Alexis came back after a couple of days so I had the place to myself."

"That huge place all to yourself? I would've felt lonely." Lanie comments and he shrugs, stealing a glance at Kate. She offers him a small smile.

"It did after a while, but I needed it. That bomb case was a little too intense, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, man. We're glad you and Beckett didn't get blown up." Ryan quips and they nod.

"Or froze to death." Lanie adds somberly.

"That one was a little too close." Kate says quietly and her friend reaches across the table and squeezes her hand.

"Which is why we should celebrate. It's good to have you back, Castle." The medical examiner tells him and he grins at her.

"Why, Dr. Parish, did you actually miss me?" he teases and Lanie rolls her eyes.

"No, my morgue was quiet for once. But my girl here was moping all week because you weren't around."

"Lanie!" Kate protests and the others laugh. "I was not moping, okay? I was just having a tough week after everything that had happened." She tries to justify, but her friends look at her skeptically and she rolls her eyes. "Fine, believe whatever you want." She says and resists the urge to childishly stick her tongue out at them.

They keep teasing each other and laughing until Lanie drags Esposito to the small dance floor. Ryan excuses himself to go check in with Jenny, which leaves Kate alone with Castle for the first time since they arrived. Once Ryan is out of sight, Castle lets his arm fall around Kate's shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

"Are you having a good time?" he whispers and places a kiss on her hair. She looks around to check if any of her friends are paying attention to them and relaxes into his side.

"Yeah. I guess I really needed this kind of distraction." She says quietly, tracing patterns on his thigh absentmindedly.

"Were you really moping all week?" he asks teasingly and she slaps his thigh.

"I was _not_ moping, okay." She insists and he laughs, running his fingers up and down on her arms.

"Well, we've already established that you missed me." He says and she shrugs.

"Yeah, so?"

"So that plus the statements of three eye witnesses concerning your mood for the past week equals a very mopey detective." He concludes and grins at her with a wink.

"Believe whatever you want, Castle." She rolls her eyes and rests her head on his shoulder. He smiles weakly at her action and presses another kiss to her hair.

"It's good to be back, though." He says after a few minutes in silence. "It got lonely there after a while."

"Why didn't you come back with Alexis and Martha?"

She sits up straighter to look at him, but doesn't sever their connection. He sighs heavily, pulling her closer and she smiles at him.

"I guess I just wanted to stay away for a while. I actually thought I was going to die that day. That _you _were going to die. It kind of takes a toll on a guy, you know?" he explains quietly and she nods.

"I wish you would've told me." She whispers and reaches out to brush his hair away from his forehead gently. "I was worried about you. You fell off the face of the Earth and I didn't know what to do, if you wanted me to call or not."

"I'm glad you did in the end." He tells her and she shakes her head.

"You could've called me sooner. You didn't have to go through that by yourself, you know?"

"I didn't want to bother you. I figured you'd be busy with Josh." He looks away and realization finally dawns on her.

"Rick" she touches his cheek, making him meet her gaze. "Even if I was with Josh – which I wasn't – you are my friend, first and foremost. After all we had gone through that day the person I wanted to be with was you. Make sure you were really alive and safe. Or do you think I wasn't feeling exactly like you were?"

He kisses her palm softly at her confession and she sighs.

"I'm sorry." He nuzzles her hand and places another kiss at her wrist. "I didn't think. I was just wallowing in my own misery." He says and she offers him a small, sad smile, knowing exactly what his misery was all about.

"There was no need to." She leans in and kisses his lips softly. He stiffens in surprise for a second, but kisses her back, his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer. "Next time, talk to me before wallowing all by your lonesome for ten days, okay?" she says, resting her forehead on his and he smiles happily at her.

"Duly noted, detective."

He steals another kiss and pulls her in for a hug. She hugs him back tightly, her mind still reeling at the line they have just crossed. Surprisingly, she finds that she is rather calm about this whole thing; at least calmer than she thought she would be.

Kate pulls back and finds him smiling at her. She smiles shyly, her mind catching up with the fact that she has just kissed him, and tucks her face in the crook of his neck. They stay like that for a couple of minutes, with him running his hand on her arm lazily. She has no idea what they're doing and she knows there is no turning back now, but for the first time in a long time, she feels ready to take a chance.

"Kate" he interrupts her thoughts and she looks up at him. "Not that I'm not enjoying this, but our good friend Detective Ryan is returning. Unless you want to endure the inevitable questions, I think we should look more presentable." He explains and she sighs. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear with a small smile. "We can always cuddle some more later." He winks at her and she slaps his chest.

"Shut up, Castle." She shakes her head, but can't fight the grin that makes its way to her lips.

"Hey, guys, I have to go. Jenny is having car trouble so I have to go pick her up." Ryan explains and Castle hands him his coat.

"Is she okay?" Kate asks, suddenly aware that she is still leaning on Castle's side and sits up straighter, putting some distance between them.

"Yeah, yeah. Apparently her car died near Central Park."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Tell her we said hi." She tells him and he waves goodbye, running to the door.

"Poor guy is so whipped." Castle comments and she rolls her eyes.

"Oh come on, he's in love. I think it's sweet." She says and he wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her back against him.

"Yeah? I hope you'll think it's sweet when I act like a puppy around you." He says against her neck, placing a kiss on her skin.

She stiffens for a moment, shocked at what he has just so casually said. Did he really just imply that he is in love with her?

"You already act like a puppy, Castle." She takes a deep breath and relaxes against him, feeling his chuckle reverberate through her.

"Can't argue with that."

He laughs and she looks around to check where Lanie and Esposito are. Satisfied that they are busy with each other by the bar, she turns around and leans in closer to Castle.

"Just don't expect me to act like a puppy around you, even if I may feel the same way." She whispers in his ear. "Understood?"

The way he kisses her then sounds like a resounding yes.

* * *

**Thoughts?**


End file.
